Can you tell me where we are?
We are right next to the Chicago River, in the Albany Park neighbourhood of Chicago. In a beautiful, natural area.
Why do you think queer tarot is important?
I think queer tarot is exactly what not only queer witches need to have in their lives but what the rest of the witchy community needs to see. For me, one of the reasons it took me a while to get into tarot is that everything is presented very on the binary. The court cards and a lot of the symbols. Symbolism of tarot decks is read in a masculine or a feminine way. That to me seems, has always seemed really reductive and not applicable to everyone. Queering tarot really blows that up and puts everyone’s experience at the forefront and not just the people that we’ve been seeing being represented in cards for as long as the cards have been around. I think that anything that, to use it as a verb, anything that queers the norm is revolutionary and adding that aspect to a tarot deck and really getting to the meat of what’s real and what’s true and what’s felt by the community is – I don’t know it’s just it’s just a blessing to the world and something that needs to exist. I’m so excited.
Which card did you choose to shoot?
I choose the Page of Cups because I have a lot of feelings all of the time, forever. I feel really deeply and I use my emotions to navigate the world in most times. I think that that’s an experience that’s accessible to anybody of any gender but it’s not often spoken about that way or encouraged that way. I guess for me that’s something that’s really important to me. In life in general and especially in my gender journey – is is staying really connected to my emotional self. Hopefully helping other people stay connected to their emotional selves regardless of the ways in which our society wants to tell us whats appropriate. It is not just appropriate for you because you are of this persuasion or “this method is appropriate for you because you’re over here”. No! Every way of feeling and being is appropriate for everyone because we exist and we’re beautiful. So be you! That’s how I feel.
I’m a triple Pisces. That’s my connection with the card. The Page of Cups is a Pisces oriented card. It’s a lot a lot of waves all the time. This is why we’re by the beautiful Chicago River. Rivers are some of my favourite beings shall we say.
Why this is special right here? Oh why this is special, yeah. This (necklace) is, this is a turtle shell, a piece of a turtle shell that I found actually really close to where we’re sitting right now. There was, and I’m finding I’m finding it difficult to find the right words to describe the situation. There was an elder turtle who passed from this world. They left their shell when they moved on and I was really blessed to be able to connect with this turtle and to help them return their body to the Earth and was lead to to take this one piece. It’s really one of the most special things to me in my life and it carry it with me.
How do you resonate with the Page of Cups?
I think that the Page of Cups is always telling us to stay open and to, and to and to let ourselves lead with the heart. For me even though sometimes my emotions can be overwhelming and not necessarily enjoyable to live in the whirlwind. We’re not all feeling joy all of the time. The Page of Cups is always a reminder to me to feel no matter what that feeling it is and to be present. To allow everything in our lives to touch us in that way. That’s that’s a big part of what it does.
I find it hardest to do that when when when I don’t know where my path is leading at the moment. I find it hard to do that in most times of emotional pain. I think that it’s important to recognize that all of our experiences on this beautiful Earth are really relevant and important and meaningful no matter if they feel difficult at the time. Even on the other side of that coin, sometimes it’s hardest for me to stay open when I’m receiving love. Sometimes there’s a part of me that wants to block that and wants to give all of my love out to other people and doesn’t know how to receive that for myself. I think that the times that I am most me are the times when I am really open and the times when I’m really letting myself do that giving and also letting myself do that receiving.
What would you tell baby queer?
A lot of what I would tell baby queer would be kind of that last point, of let yourself be open to things. This is partially why it’s a little funny to me even referencing baby queer self in terms of this card because as a younger person, – especially before I was out of the closet as queer. Before I started really connecting with myself in all these ways, I was really really closed off for the most part. I was super shut down to myself and super shut down to the rest of the world. For me, going through that process of reconnection and having that teach me that, no, people in the world want to interact with you. You as you and seeing you being yourself – is a good thing! The more my younger self lets themself be open, the more that they’re gonna thrive and they’re gonna blossom.
It’s been a really really beautiful part of my journey and I know, I hope that more people can learn to do that. When we become authentic with ourselves and really share ourselves with ourselves and become able to share our true selves with the world and receive love from the world. That life isn’t just going to be an endless unicorn rainbow party, but it starts to feel really magic.
If somebody was new to Tarot pulled your card in a reading what would you want to tell them?
I would want to tell them, be so excited! Because the card is a big symbol of love and open heartedness and good things coming your way if you’re open to them. Keeping that childlike curiosity and sense of wonder about the world and how much that will bring you. If you pull this card in a moment where you feel like that’s the way that your embodiment is going right now – be super stoked!!! Yes and keep doing it. If you pull that card when you’re in a space where you maybe don’t feel as open and you maybe are feeling a little bit isolationist or a little bit “No I gotta protect myself from everything” know that that’s ok. Always protect yourself but know that maybe around the corner there’s going to be that opening and let that opening open. That’s what I would say.
If you were in a space where you felt, or pulled the Page of Cups Reverse? How would how would you interpret it? Have you felt like that before?
Yeah. I usually, So for me when I interpret reversals – a lot of how I interpret reversals, my first thought will be to accept that that reversed side is what I need to see right now and probably where I am right now. I also immediately look for “how do we flip this card back to the upright position”. For me when I get the reversed Page of Cups, and I will get the reversed Page of Cups because my deck throws the Page of Cups at me for pretty specific reasons. It’s when I am letting my heart rule everything, and when I am not when I’m not able to come back to myself because those feelings are just swirling and swirling and swirling. Sometimes even when my emotions are blocked. So it will be usually at one end of an extreme or another and it will kind of say to me – look at yourself here- Are you are you letting things come to you? Are you allowing your emotions be full? If you are, is that still feeling good or have they taken over? I don’t know if anybody else who has big feelings ever gets this way but sometimes the big feelings – you think it’s gonna blow your top! You think it’s gonna turn your water really fast and actually if flips the water wheel all the way down the the hill. Sometimes I think the reversed Page of Cups is “Go get your water wheel”. Yes work with all of this water but kinda just take a chill pill. The water can be calm the water, doesn’t have to be raging rapids all of the time. You want that flow but you don’t necessarily want the raging rapids and you don’t necessarily want the beaver dam either.