I saw that the four of cups was available, it occurred to me that not many people have good experiences with the four of cups. It made me go deep inside of myself, to think, what does the card represent, what kind of meaning it has and why would some people choose not to like this card. Having three cups is a favourable card, but having four cups, where three are in front of a person and the fourth, be represented by some sort of higher being, behind or around the person but they’re not paying attention to it. Like they are more concerned with what they don’t have, how they feel internally, and emotionally because this card is so emotional. It’s a combination of emotions and a person who is not aware of how much they have in life to be thankful for – vs what they could have. It’s also about perception.
I liked this card because, it was a ground breaking thought to me, I realized in our society we use social media for how we should feel, what we should have, the perfect gym bodies, essentially how grass is greener on the other side. That kind of thought is the representation of this card. The person who is not satisfied with the grass they already have, thinking there is something better. It’s not “It could be better” but more “you should be aware of what you have right now – the perceptions”. If you focus on what you have right now you can achieve so many more things in life.
My personal connection to this card – since I was a kid, I had this tendency to not be grateful for what I had, the small things that I had. Growing up, I realize that I’ve taken so many things for granted when I was a kid. I came from a poor Russian family, I’m a refugee immigrant, that moved to Canada because of my LGBTQ status, I realized that what I had back home, I could have taken it with more thankfulness. I chosen to turn my nose up to things that were there that I could have taken advantage of. Friendships, not judging myself, being so introverted, thinking I deserve better, to enjoy the time I had back home. It wasn’t the best childhood to have, it comes with a lot of hardship, abuse and bullying for being who you are. It makes you more introverted, but it also makes you not appreciate what comes into your life. The gifts that life gives you. You are a victim in certain situations, but if you make yourself a victim constantly in your head you expect more from the world, and choose not to see things that were there already for you.
I moved to Canada 10 or 11 years ago, October 13th it will be 11 years since I moved here. I moved from the rural mountains of Russia, quite far away from Moscow. I moved here with my mum, I didn’t really know English, and had to relocate because of my sexuality. I was given an opportunity by certain programs coming from overseas. As a 14 year old, I could go to school and feel safer, where it is less dangerous to be queer. I fell in love with this place being able to be yourself, back home people judge your because of how you are. They find it obscure if you’re different. People are interested here in strange qualities in individuals. To have that experience it was mind blowing. Coming from a place where you’re constantly pushed down, and tough that your unnatural to this world, in a religious belief system where it’s “male” / female” and that’s how it is. It’s a bardic point of view that doesn’t exist so much in Canada, not just homosapiens, we’re humans who value each other as individuals. Value each others diversity.
The four of cups reversed, you have to be emotionally aware, don’t over react, let things to be observed. Go inside yourself and observe, meditation. Experience the stillness of yourself, sit down like right now in the park. In myself I find it a lot from being artistic, going for walks in nature. I love this park Queen Elizabeth park in Vancouver. It has a nature presence to it, there’s so many different type of trees, Oak, Birch. I think the energy of nature can ground and take you through what is negative, what needs to be grounded into the earth. Or Trout Lake park which is quite close to my house. Running is my thing for getting away from feeling too anxious in my brain.
We need to see a highly diverse tarot deck, people of different backgrounds, and energy. It’s a bunch of archetypes and energy combined. Queer means everything, it’s a rainbow, queer can mean something so weird an odd but in a good way. Something that is interesting not as immediately apparent. Queer can mean one thing to one person and completely different to another.*
*Transcription of Audio Interview
Artemis – Russian, Queer, He/Him