I think a Tarot is a thing that needs to be constantly be reimagined for every time and epic that it is in. I think finally since humanity is at an age where we need to be celebrating everything that is different unique and wonderful about us. Anything that makes that moment in time special is important.
I chose the Ace of Cups. The Cancer cards are the Ace, 2 and 3, which are really beautiful, because love plays a big part in my life and the sharing of it. Tho I think at the moment I celebrate more the 3 of cups, the sharing of love and kin-ship with others. The Ace of Cups, I really appreciate the potentiality, and living in that moment is where I want to be right now. I am a Cancerian, the 9th of July, the day of wonder, the unconventional cancer week. I have an Aquarius moon, and venus in Gemini which means I am very restless in love I think.
The Ace of cups and love, I think there is a few different sources where one pulls love is from. In my card there is my father, there’s my dog, there’s the love of the forest, the love of nature. I think all these different sources of that nourish us are really celebrated in the Ace of Cups. I’m a big believer in optimism, every time I enter into a new partnership or meet a new person, I am so optimistic for the future. A lot about what I love about the Ace of Cups is it represents that seed of what’s out there, what’s coming. Source and seed.
I think it’s about connecting to the source of love and how you love yourself and love others. I would tell my younger self that we will get to this stage. I feel like at the moment I am really embodying that self love. It’s been a very long time, and a very hard time to get here. I’ve showed you some older photos of me when I was in darker places than I am now. I still go to those dark places and still sometimes struggle to find that love for my self. We don’t always stay in those places but we move in and out it, but we get there.
I think that the universe loves you – that’s why you’ve pulled this card, its here to tell you there is this overwhelming wash of support for you – *dog walks off* – for you to do your own thing. The support and the love is there. You might not see it, it might be coming from behind you, or coming from a different source than you expect. Be supported, because you are.
The Ace of Cups reversed – you are draining yourself in unfruitful places. You need to stop this stem, this tide of love which is not being met, reverse the flow and send it back to yourself. I remember in one of my awful breakups, trying to send love to this other person, via the moon. It just all came straight back to me, it was lovely – maybe someone had put a spell on me I think, just to give myself back that love. I was so used to loving this person, who for reasons of their own trauma and past couldn’t love me, or their idea of love was very twisted. Just trying to send them love and feeling it come back to me, was these two parts connecting – *holds the heart and sacral chakra areas*. The message I received when I was doing that – allowing the love to move between those two areas. Connecting to the sacral chakra.
I am also a person who really struggles to let go of grief, that also has a lot to do with the strength of your lungs. We’re now in autumn, (Australia – at the time of filming) this is an expansive time, but also a time of grieving, sorrow, celebration and harvest. These things all go hand in hand. So if you’re going through a breakup and you’ve received this card, it’s telling you to go back to yourself, to go back to the start. Don’t be afraid to move, shake cry scream, and do anything that exercises your lungs.
My Queerness is definitely expressed in a way I express my sexuality, that’s in an opulence. I think about the ways I like to nourish myself and lush myself out. It’s not really a sharing moment, just a return to myself. Self pleasure! I live my life in and out of love, it’s not a very stable place – so * the Ace of Cups is* returning to self pleasure and developing that practice. There is a lovely masterbation meditation that I talk about with friends, where you masterbate your way up through your body to your throat. You shoot the energy out through the back of you (your head) and it comes back around to your front. You’ve taken 9/ 10 ths of a breath, on the last bit when it hits you, the last little breath, then you slowly exhale. It’s a very beautiful, sexy, masterbation meditation. I do often bring up masterbation with people, thank you for reconnecting me with that space.
*Transcription from Audio Interview